Snow White and the Seven Johns
by Joseph S. Salemi
Snow: street nickname for cocaine.
You all know the tale of young Snow White, and how
The dwarfs and the Prince saved her bacon.
But if you think that's the true story, well now...
I'm afraid that you're sadly mistaken.
I'll fill you in here on the actual facts
Although they are sordid and smutty.
The case involves women who work on their backs,
With morals as yielding as putty.
Snow White was a chippie with ivory-smooth skin
Who hooked from a crib in Savannah,
A city well known for its ladies of sin
(It's almost as bad as Havana).
She had seven Johns who were short, fat, and old,
As ugly as Snow White was pretty.
They were Sleazy and Sloppy and Scruffy, I'm told,
And Shabby and Stinky and Shitty.
The seventh was Smarmy, a mean ghetto tough
Who often gave Snow White a whipping.
She never complained, 'cause he paid her enough,
And Snow needed dough for her tripping.
Yeah, she was a coke-head. Poor Snow White was jinxed
With a craving for snow, and to feed it
She'd do what you asked her, though freaky and kinked,
To get the nose-candy she needed.
Now there was this madam—-a "witch," if you must—-
A woman most cruel and unpleasant.
She laced some cocaine with a poisonous dust
And gave it to Snow as a present.
Poor Snow took a whiff of this doctored-up dope
And soon drifted into narcosis.
The back-parlor girls assumed there was no hope—-
They often had seen overdoses.
But Smarmy came over and pulled down her drawers--
He gave her a whack on the fanny,
And Snow White awoke, and the rest of the whores
Called such a revival uncanny.
The Johns in the brothel wore seven big smirks,
And Snow was too weak to resist 'em.
They paid for an orgy with all of the works,
And Snow White got pumped like a piston.
Walt Disney, a poltroon of staid bourgeois taste,
Was troubled by anything gritty.
He cleaned up the details, and duly effaced
All marks of the grim inner city.
He made it a tale of a girl and a Prince,
Of cottages, castles, and witches.
He dropped the unpleasantries and the vice, since
That stuff gives Americans twitches.
Joseph S. Salemi